How to Build Rapport by Asking The Right Questions

An important skill to effective communication and building strong relationships is understanding your and someone else’s underlying needs. When you have this in-depth understanding, you speak to someone on a much deeper, more personal level as you understand them more and you create better connections.

There are 5 types of questions you can ask to deepen your understanding someone’s underlying need:

1. Questions that reveal emotions and experiences: What gets you excited to take on the day? What do you like doing most?
2. Reflective questions that foster self-awareness: These types of questions are more “in the moment” when you can be more curious about someone’s reaction or facial expressions.
3. Open-ended questions to encourage connection: This goes to the above point too. By asking open ended questions (start with “how” or “what”) this lets the someone open up with more descriptive answers as opposed to closed questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” leaving you having to ask more questions to start a conversation.
4. Clarifying questions that demonstrate active listening: Curiosity is everything here, so ask for more information about the topic at hand or their opinions or feelings based on what they have told you already.
5. Questions about the future also inspire growth and support: What would you prefer? Or, what would you like to see happen?

Once you have more information from the above questions, you gain a better understanding of what motivates someone, or what turns them off. With that level of knowledge in your pocket, you can communicate and connect with them on a very personal level that builds rapport and stronger relationships.

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