The Intelligence Trap With Feedback

If you’re used to being competent, feedback can feel like a threat to your identity. You hear the feedback and naturally ask, “If I’m good at this, why didn’t I see it? If they’re right, what else am I missing?” 

Your brain does what it does best. It analyzes and argues. It explains and defends. In other words, it turns feedback into a debate instead of data. 

Smart people are talented at reasoning. They can rationalize away almost anything. For example, when you hear feedback, your first reaction may be something like, “They don’t understand my context,” “That person is biased,” or “It’s just their style.” 

Smart people also know that feedback is something they need. You don’t have to accept every comment as truth, but you should take it seriously. It’s information about your impact. 

Instead of treating the next piece of feedback you hear like a verdict, ask questions. Say, “What did you see that led you to say that?” or “Can you give me an example of when you see this in my work?” or “What would ‘better’ look like next time?” 

Being smart helps you solve problems, but being clear helps you grow. Taking what you need from feedback is where you practice clarity, even when your ego wants to debate or rationalize it a way.

You don’t have to agree with every piece of feedback. But the people who grow the fastest aren’t always the smartest. 

They’re the most coachable.